5 Listening Mistakes You Make Too
Guilty of all charges?
We are bad listeners.
Even if you try to focus, sooner or later, the voice in the back of your head starts talking. It could be pretty distracting.
Instead of writing a report, you’re thinking about your last evening. You’re sitting in the middle of a meeting, and the only thing you have on your mind is the messy hair of the presenter.
Listening is not easy. We all make these mistakes.
1. Not giving people space to think
If you’re like me, you’re talking quite fast. But not only that, you also want answers quickly.
Communication coaches often recommend asking the same question differently if it seems others don’t understand. So, what you do when you don’t get an immediate answer is you’re piling up questions.
“What should we do?”
“How could we improve the Team’s communication?”
“Do you think everyone should give a ‘like’ when they read a message?”
If you maybe wait for two minutes, you will get suggestions and answers. Instead, many managers, jump into other questions and push their thoughts further.
Give others time to think. They need to process your question, find possible answers, and choose the one that will be the best.
2. Thinking about other things
Doodling. Looking at your watch. Caressing your hair.
These are some signs of people being elsewhere. You should listen. But sometimes you can’t help it, and your mind wanders around.
One is telling you a story about his weekend. You’re thinking about yours. Your coworker is presenting a solution while you’re already thinking how you would do it.
Not paying attention but expecting others will listen to you when you talk is a corporate sin.
You can do better than that. Stop for a second and concentrate on what others are telling you.
3. Not admitting you’re not listening
Show me a person who can fully focus during a one-hour meeting.
You’re likely to slip a few times. When you do, you may lose the next point. Yet, not to look bad, you don’t admit you did not catch it.
Urg.
Many people play it cool. They don’t want to look like they are not listening. Yet, how many times have you witnessed the embarrassing moment of someone who was asked a question and was lost?
When you don’t listen because your mind wanders or because you thought about something else, admit it.
It’s better to say: “Sorry, I thought about something else.” Then looking rude and ignorant.
4. Being afraid of silence
“And what do you think?”
Silence.
Silence could be pretty awkward. We’re somehow not used to it. Silence during meetings seems rude. But the opposite is true.
Silence is a sign of people’s thinking. Don’t you want them to process information and give you thoughtful answers? Then, let them think! And don’t ask more questions or push them to be faster.
It’s not going to work.
5. Not asking about the meaning
“Too many cooks spoil the broth.”
“Moving the needle.”
“Break down silos.”
Do you use metaphors, idiomatic expressions, or corporate jargon? And did you realize not everyone might understand?
You assume people understand you. Yet, not everyone is a native speaker, has seen the same movies, or has been in the company long enough.
When you hear something you don’t understand, do you ask about it? Or do you let it be not to look silly? The latter is what many people tend to do.
Listening but not understanding the meaning is another trouble hindering communication.
TL;DR
How many are you guilty of? Improve your listening:
Giving people space to think: Rapid-fire questioning can hinder thoughtful responses. Allow others time to process and respond effectively.
Avoid or admit distractions: Acknowledging gaps in attention fosters transparency and avoids misunderstandings.
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