Better Feedback, Better Teams
Feedback is a skill. Do you have it?
You give feedback all the time.
But do you do it effectively?
Times when telling people off was called feedback are gone. In 2025, you need two things:
Emotional intelligence
Digital communication skills
This newsletter focuses on emotional intelligence and feedback. Deliver better feedback, and your team will flourish.
Btw. founding members have the updated Feedback Guide & Checklists available as a PDF:
Feedback by emotionally intelligent people
Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize, understand, manage, and influence one's own and others' emotions.
You know that people decide (and act) emotionally more than rationally, right?
You can have negative data, facts, and reviews, and still give positive feedback to your coworkers. Why? Maybe you like them and you want them to like you.
You sweetie.
Emotionally intelligent people deliver feedback in a constructive, not damaging, empathetic, and even motivating way. How do you achieve that?
Don’t call them corporate snakes just because they sensitively manage difficult conversations.
They read the room. And what’s more, they listen better than you because they possess the important social skills: self-awareness, self-management, relationship awareness, and relationship management.
Feedback from emotionally intelligent people is like butter on your morning toast. You have never enough.
EQ for collaboration
Managers often think emotional intelligence (EQ) equals empathy. Translated into a nod to show you share their feelings and that’s it.
Empathy is also compassion and support. However, you must recognize other people’s perspectives, needs, and interests. Generally, the more you know the reasons behind people’s decisions, mistakes, and opinions, the better you can communicate with them.
Strip your mind off your inner proud voice and listen to what they say.
You will likely quickly understand what feedback they need and in which form to provide it. Feedback is not a favorite cookie; it could be pretty bittersweet.
Your EQ will guide you to the right form of delivering good/bad/neutral news.
Giving better feedback means you are driven to help, to share your passion with others, and to build strong networks.
EQ is a must for your collaboration.
Give better feedback using questions
Two words you have already heard before:
Active listening
Feedback is a two-way conversation. You give them a chance to respond and share their perspective. You might not be right (hard to accept but worth realizing).
There is an underestimated step in active listening: You ask open-ended questions such as:
How do you see this situation?
How do you feel about this feedback?
What support do you need to fix the mistakes?
Can you walk me through your thought process on this?
Instead of pointing fingers, these questions make feedback more collaborative and empowering.
The EQ here is to help you guide your mind towards a two-way discussion. Validate how people feel without dismissing the core issue. After all, with the right preparation, you will be ready to understand and manage emotions.
Self-awareness influences your feedback skills
Have you ever delivered feedback with emotional hype?
Frustrated, impatient, angry, disappointed. How you feel steers the conversation up a great deal.
The golden rule is:
Avoid giving feedback when you’re emotionally charged.
Because what’s your real intention? To help or to vent?
Feedback is not about you. It is about how you can collaborate on tasks given. If you don’t hold your emotions in check and bother others with your madness, the feedback is pointless and even damaging trust.
You might need to reflect on your skills and behaviors before giving feedback. Are you open to criticism and learning how to adjust your behaviors?
Answer the best you can.
TL;DR
Emotionally intelligent leaders deliver constructive, empathetic, and motivating feedback. They use active listening and open-ended questions to foster two-way dialogue.
Self-awareness is key. Feedback should help, not vent frustration.
Have a good one, Ivona
Monday Deep Dive: Leadership Styles & Theories
Thursday Newsletter: Beware the Big Leadership Scam