Building Professional Relationships Through Shared Interests
What do we have in common?
What do you want from your partner?
Love, respect, honesty, but also, for instance, a good sense of humor, a love for sci-fi and hiking, or a passion for good food.
In other words, shared interests.
The same works for professional relationships. Shared values and common interests are the foundation for working in a team.
Connected to be disconnected
A few years ago, you may have thought it would never be possible. Yet, you work with your clients or coworkers from your sofa and have business calls in your kitchen. How comfy is that?
It is and it is not. As Martha Gill pointed out, “remote working is like a dating app: isolating, joyless, and bad for us.”
Having communication tools and apps gives an impression you’re well-connected to others. The opposite is true.
Many leaders I work with wonder how to create a connection. The ground for relationships is fading away. The more online you are, the more you are tempted to spend time on funny videos than engaging with others.
Disconnection lets people create their agenda. Me over you. Lack of loyalty. Professional relationships suffer from a lack of shared interests and communication.
Basic human interaction
Why some teams are more successful than others? They have found a way to interact better.
Social interaction is a basic human need. It has physical, mental, and emotional benefits. Imagine you meet someone, you make eye contact, and the person smiles at you and asks you in a friendly tone, how is your day?
Fast forward to your office.
Colleagues say ‘hi’ when they pass you. Otherwise, silently slide to their working spot. Remotely, you join a call and a leader asks how everyone is doing. “Good.” “Okay, let’s get into the agenda.”
Something is missing.
Interactions and honest interest in others.
The communication process is often broken. Instead of an exchange of pieces of information. One tends to talk about himself without inviting you in or asking about you.
Kitchen conversations in the office could be like:
A: “Hey, how’s it going?”
B: “Good. I finished the project and had a bit of a quiet afternoon.”
A: “Oh, that’s great. I struggle now on my project.”
B: “Yeah, I am happy about it. Planning to leave a bit earlier today and enjoy time with the kids. Maybe going fishing or to the cinema. I haven’t seen the new Barbie movie yet. I have heard it’s really good. Last week, we watched the Oppenheimer. God, that was long! Anyway, cheers.”
A: “Ah, bye.”
So much more could be achieved by this conversation if B was interested in A. B didn’t ask about the day of A. B also ignored the call for help on the A’s project. B chose to talk about himself.
Many people don’t care about others and tend to talk about themselves. Question-answer and question-back-answer often don’t work.
Common interests are the glue
Common interests serve as a glue for relationships because they create a shared bond and understanding between individuals, fostering a sense of connection and camaraderie.
When you engage in activities or discussions related to your shared interests, it deepens your connection and strengthens your relationship over time.
How much different it could be with a simple interest shift:
A: “Hey, how’s it going?”
B: “Good. I finished the project and had a bit of a quiet afternoon.”
A: “Oh, that’s great. I struggle now on my project.”
B: “I am sorry to hear that. What is the problem?”
A: “This, that, that.”
B: “Hmm, that I don’t know much about. But maybe Y could help. I am planning to leave earlier today and enjoy time with the kids. Maybe watch a new Barbie movie. Have you seen it already?
A: “Sure, I did. You will laugh a few times. Don’t forget to buy pink popcorn. Haha.
B: “Haha. Sure will do. Okay, good luck with your project, and see you later.”
Within one or two minutes, A got encouragement for his project and a tip to go to Y. B also found out that A already watched the new movie. They managed to have a small shared moment in which they discovered similar interests.
That is right. Small and maybe silly conversations can be incredibly useful. Look at the bigger picture - building relationships happen through shared interests. Projects, movies, beer, place of living, etc.
You will feel closer to your coworkers if you know a bit about them. After all, you don’t trust people you know nothing about.
TL;DR
Disconnection Challenges: Despite technological advances, remote work and digital communication can lead to feelings of isolation and hinder genuine connections.
Common Interests: Shared interests are essential for personal and professional relationships, providing a foundation for understanding and connection.
Importance of Interaction: It’s you to them and them to you. That is how you build relationships.
Relationship Benefits: Finding out what you have in common not only strengthens professional bonds but also builds trust and enhances collaboration within teams.
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