Case Study #28: Coach Your Team
Process and Tips to start coaching.
“Coaching is what many managers need”.
They wish to be coached and they want to coach their teams. At some point, coaching was a fancy synonym for success.
Everyone is a coach. Or everyone thinks they can be a coach.
There is a catch.
What many people do is not coaching, but mentoring, directing, check-ins, etc.
This case study is for everyone who wants to start coaching or improve how they do it now. About a year ago, a manager came to me with this burning question:
“How can I start coaching my team?”
Her team consisted of 10 people – 5 project managers and 5 software engineers with various expertise and length of practice.
How would you start?
What is coaching?
You read it everywhere:
“Leaders should coach more.”
“Teams need coaching, not micromanagement.”
Blah blah
I said to the manager:
“Stop saying what your team members should be doing.”
But when you stop directing them, what should you be doing?
Coaching helps people discover their accountability, inner blocks, and drivers. You hold them accountable by asking them questions.
BUT! They are to answer them.
Not you.
This shift in the mindset is terrible for many managers. “Not giving advice?” “Not telling them how to do it?”
Yes, giving them your opinion, your solution, and sharing your experience is tempting, but coaching works best when THEY make an effort.
After all, coaching helps develop skills, maximize performance, and truly reach their peak potential.
Always use reverse logic. If you give them solutions, will it help them learn something? Isn’t it stripping them of the ability to find out, try, research, and desire to figure it out?
Coaching is about them
I’ve noticed a similar trend Marshall Goldsmith pointed out a few years ago. It does matter how much time you spend with people.
“I think that I spent less time with you and your team than any team I have ever coached, yet you and your team produced the most dramatic, positive results.” – Marshall Goldsmith
Even more interesting is what he learned from this experience:
Simply put, if you want to start coaching your team, realize it is not about you. It is about them and their impact on the people they work with.
Put yourself out. It does not matter you are in a leadership position. “The best leaders understand that long-term results are created by all of the great people doing the work.”
Two prepositions for your coaching journey
1. People want to be coached
2. Focus in on unlocking potential of coachees not honing your ego
Believe it or not, some people do not want to be coached. They have some psychological barriers such as a lack of self-awareness, and a fear of change or failure.
Some also have bad previous coaching experience, are unwilling to invest energy into the growth or think they know everything.
A great way to start the process with your team is to pick people who are high on the skill/will matrix (you know me, I like the framework :-). People who are ready for growth and willing to take on their next challenge.
Typically, someone whom you can trust, who is consistent in their performance, and who can give you feedback. Because when you’re new to coaching, you want to hear how you are doing and what you should improve.
Last but not least, start with a maximum of 1-2 people. My client had 10 people on her team, which was way too much to handle at first.
Instead of publicly announcing the coaching initiative, we agreed she spoke to these 2 people and started the experiment in sort of ‘private’.
My experience is that when you announce, “Now, let’s do coaching, " everyone wants it, and the expectations are off. This is especially true since some people do not want to be coached or think of coaching as psychotherapy or training.
You have 1-2 people lined up. The alignment phase can start.
Coaching is all about purpose and goals. First, you must define the reason for collaboration (no, coaching itself is not enough!).
What do people want to achieve? E.g. co-leadership, improve project management process, start knowledge management, etc.
The purpose and goals help you choose the correct success metrics. Take enough time to find the “right” goal for the person. People usually have a lot of ideas, you need to streamline them into ideally one thing.
You want them to be focused. Achieving too much is not reasonable for you as a coach or for the coachee.
Then, you need to establish ground rules. Even if your current relationship is manager-employee. For coaching. Both parties must understand the rules.
Respect and professionalism (feedback and communication with respect)
Transparency and honesty (be open about challenges and commitments)
Confidentiality (protect your employee, always)
Conflict Resolution (how are you going to handle your conflicts?)
You have the values. Talk also about communication and feedback such as deciding on regular check-ins (you don’t coach all the time!), online/offline meetings, agreeing on a feedback culture, and debriefing after sessions.
Once, you’re aligned on the basics. You get into the actual coaching.
Start coaching
Coaching likes structure. Most coaching follows structured methods like:
GROW (Goal, Reality, Options, Will)
CLEAR (Contracting, Listening, Exploring, Action, Review)
OSKAR (Outcome, Scaling, Know-how, Action, Review)
Use this 5-element framework that keeps coaching sessions organized:
1. Discover
2. Assess and prioritize
3. Plan
4. Support
5. Review and learn
Here is an example of a 50-minute coaching meeting:
0-10 min: Small talk and creating a comfortable environment to talk.
10-20 min: Explain what the session is about and where they are.
15-40 min: Ask and listen. Make them aware of different perspectives.
40-50 min: Agree on the next steps and close on a positive note.
1. DISCOVER
Where are you now?
Coaching always starts with a discovery phase.
You aim to establish a trustworthy environment. This opening is about getting to know each other and talking about your background and expectations.
There is usually a reason why people want coaching. The more you know about the situation your coworker is in, the better you will be able to help him.
Use, for instance, these questions to determine the mood:
How is your day running?
Do you feel like talking?
How do you feel now?
What is on your mind?
Try to listen more than you speak. It is tempting to start talking about yourself, but that is not the point of the session. Always try to bounce the ball back to them. Listen to what they need to tell you.
Write down notes and impressions. How does it feel talking with them? Are they sad, anxious, happy, excited, or formal? Your impressions matter as much as the content of the talk.
Where do you want to be?
When the conversation is running, it is time to move forward and talk more about what your coworker expects to get out of coaching. Where does he want to be? You might get multiple ideas or just one.
An appropriate note here is that from your leadership position, you should not steer your coworker into what you want. Coaching is not mentoring or training. It is in the direction of self-management and encouragement. Don't try to make others follow your example. Let them choose their own path and support them on it.
Similar questions can help to keep the conversation going:
What would you like to be coached on?
What do you want? What do you need?
Why do you want to learn it/change it/achieve it?
What would you consider success at the end of coaching?
You might not get all the answers at once. Coaching dialog is about asking questions people do not ask themselves and starting a thought process. Provide different perspectives and encourage curiosity and engagement.
At the end of the discovery phase, you have a few possibilities and directions.
2. ASSESS
Is it clear where you want to be and why?
After the initial discussion, you get a sense of where your coworker wants to be. He might have multiple ideas. Some of his ideas seem logical, whereas others are more like wishes and wild dreams.
How to navigate this web of ideas?
As a coach, your role is to help your coachee to assess and prioritize. You can share your thoughts and experiences to support this process, but you should not impose your
perspective. A helpful communication technique is to repeat what they said, dig deeper into why it is relevant for them, and let them realize what strengths they have.
A few example questions for assessing are:
Will this help you achieve what you want?
Why do you want to reach this goal?
Why do you need such a skill?
Why is it important to you?
What do you target?
These questions can help them streamline their thoughts and eliminate irrelevant ideas. They help form a vision. Make sure that motivation and purpose are clear.
Specify up to 3 goals (ideally just one)
When you have a vision, the fun begins. Help your coworker to set specific goals. Motivate them to think about goals and make them as realistic as possible. You don't need abstract statements.
Focus on something that can be achieved.
It is very critical not to rush this step. You, as a coach, need your coachee to come up with these goals. They need to take ownership. They have to decide for themselves what is
relevant and what they want to achieve.
This is a crucial moment. If you set their goals, they are likely to not engage with them as they did not come up with them. Let them take this initiative.
Coaching is about them, not about you.
You can have up to three goals. Ideally, they are also linked together in some way. So, people don't spread themselves too thin.
At the end of this coaching step, people should feel positive about what they want to
decide. They see themselves getting it done.
3. PLAN
Where to start?
Many people feel overwhelmed and lost at the beginning. Even if they have the best vision and goals.
How to start? Where to start? Things look good on paper, but the execution can make them stuck. You can't function well without a plan.
The planning phase in coaching means you assist with creating a plan. This plan should capture opportunities, possibilities, obstacles to overcome, and potential setbacks. The plan includes several scenarios that can help with decision-making.
The plan should be logical and lead to achieving the goals. It should utilize the coworker's time and resources as well as challenge his current abilities.
Be aware of the learning zones as coaching should not put your coachee into the panic zone.
It should rather be aspirational and motivate them to learn new things.
Useful questions for planning are:
What actions do you need to take?
When do you plan to work on this? How do you achieve this goal?
How much time do you need? What if this does not work?
What is your plan B?
When do you start?
Get ready and start
When the plan is finalized, your coachee should feel motivated as the dream comes true. The vision has a shape, and now he's ready to start.
The sooner, the better. By now, your coworker should have a sustainable plan of action. He knows how much time he needs to allocate. So, planning should significantly improve his organization and time management.
4. SUPPORT
Hold coachee accountable
During the execution of the plan, the coaching might feel a bit strict. Focus on following up and discussing the next steps.
Coaches often feel frustrated when their coachees do not follow the plan and make a lot of excuses.
Work on your self-awareness. Journal your emotions, and be honest about your strengths and weaknesses.
Share them with someone you trust. In such a situation, if you have put a lot of effort into helping someone, and they fail to accomplish the plan, you can lose confidence. You are not a bad coach; you only need to work on your self-management.
Avoid showing disappointment and frustration. Don't blame the other person. He knows for himself what has been happening. So, no need to bring more shame to the place.
On the flip side, you are there to:
Keep them accountable
Advise on resources
Encourage
Support
From a communication perspective, you ask:
What is working and what is not working? What kind of support do you need?
Are you on track with the plan?
Are you ready to move on?
What is holding you back?
Have you considered...?
What is your next step?
Execution can be a lengthy process. You experience a different kind of work.
Different does not mean it is wrong. Every person has a unique way of doing things. Some need more time than others. You are not there to judge but to help them progress and achieve their goals.
Make sure they are not stuck. You are there to support them.
5. LEARN and REVIEW
The last phase of the coaching process is another discovery. But this time, it is about seeing what has been achieved, how, and what your coachee has learned.
After the planned schedule comes to an end, you face these outcomes:
The vision has become a reality, and goals are achieved. Hurray! The coaching cycle is over.
The vision has become a reality, but some goals are not met. Hurray! Some progress has been achieved. The work has not finished, and it might be wise to repeat the coaching cycle.
The vision has not become a reality, and the goals were not achieved.
Ehm. Discuss what worked vs. what did not.
What learning can you take out of the experience?
Is the coachee motivated to start a new coaching cycle?
The evaluation phase is an important conclusion to the coaching experience. Wrap up the experience by summarizing each step you took together. Take your coworker on a journey and finish the story with learning and common understanding.
Coaching helps people discover their potential and lets them be engaged with their ideas. It can significantly improve their confidence and productivity. See what effect coaching has on your team.
When you finish coaching your first two team members, you may want to start a new circle with others at some point. Decide based on what your team needs.
No need to coach everyone all the time, one after the other.
Some might need training, mentoring, and some coaching. Be flexible.
Practice, practice, practice.
We all know that habits work. Coaching habits are no different. You need a lot of practice to know what you want to do and what you can do.
One mistake I often see leaders make is that they think coaching is about providing
solutions. You come to them with ideas and questions, and they give you answers. That is not coaching, but mentoring or sometimes even micromanagement.
So, try this to build a habit of coaching:
Ask a lot of questions
Listen more than you speak
It is tempting to share your experiences and your perspective. Too often, people listen to themselves. But keep it low.
Get to know others and shift your attention to them and their words. Listening is fuel for coaching.
It can feel awkward for you at the beginning to be silent and just listen. Nevertheless, pay attention and listen. You will learn a lot about yourself as well.
Same for questions. You might not be used to asking too much. Before you start coaching, prepare a list of questions you want to ask. So, you don't have to think about them while sitting in sessions. Preparation is your best coaching ally.
To build a solid coaching habit, seek feedback.
Ask people you coach about what they found useful and what they did not like. Listen to their feedback and be open to criticism. After all, if you have trustworthy relationships, they don't want to hurt you but help you as you helped them.
Get a habit of reflection. Journaling your impressions and key points can help you stay organized when you coach and inspire your next coaching efforts.
Practice asking questions and listening before you start coaching. Then it will feel more natural and smooth.
Good luck!
PS: How was coaching for my client?
One word: a challenge.
She struggled with asking a lot of questions while not giving solutions. It was tempting to solve the puzzles for her team members herself.
Yet, if you give them answers and babysit them, it is not coaching. It is (annoying) supervision.
We worked for quite some time together. We watched videos about how people coach others. We criticized what they did to learn what we could do better.
We talked a lot about the different stages her team members were in and how to best help them achieve their goals. It was not a straightforward process but she put a lot of effort into it and was truly helpful.
She was one of these “The best leader, the people do not notice. When the best leader’s work is done, the people say, ‘We did it ourselves.”
Have a wonderful, Ivona