Do you feel awkward when you talk about money?
They say you need to be confident to ask for a pay raise. But it is also handy when you pitch and negotiate your freelance pay or a price for coaching.
People tend to ask less than they would find fair. Why? They doubt they would get it. Employers benefit from it. Not every person asks, and clients take it as a flag to push the price even lower.
Don’t take any more crumbles. Ask for more.
Why do people find money talks uncomfortable?
I know people who can’t sleep a night before they go to their boss and ask for a raise. It can feel nerve-racking. There is a lot at stake. Your finances will lose if your money talks anxiety wins out.
“Asking for what we believe is warranted [and] is important for our own peace of mind and self-confidence,” said Jeff Shinal, a financial therapist. “Avoidance undermines this.” - www.cnbc.com
Why do people fear money conversations? They are afraid of being rejected. You may automatically expect people to say ‘no’. You think people will be upset. You may even lose business if you ask your client for more.
Some people struggle with feelings of inadequacy or lack of self-esteem. They also don’t want to be seen as greedy or selfish. Others probably want more money, too.
When you have never done it before, of course, you will make a big deal out of it. Many people sit and wait for their yearly increase of 1-2%. That is fine as long as you are fine with it.
Negotiation about money can vary based on gender, too. It seems women are more uncomfortable:
When asked to pick metaphors for the process of negotiating, men picked "winning a ballgame" and a "wrestling match," while women picked "going to the dentist." - http://www.womendontask.com/
TIP: List down why you feel uncomfortable. All your fears and negative scenarios. What worse could happen if you ask for more money?
How to know your value
In an ideal world, companies pay employees well to stay on top of their games. In reality? They are likely to play it cool because if you don’t ask for a raise, assumptions are you are okay with your salary.
Spontaneous pay raise happens, but do not rely on that.
Rather, get to know your market price. Do some research and comparisons. How much you’re worth compared to other professionals in your field? Jobs.com, glassdoor.com, payscale.com, etc. will be helpful.
Also, ask your friends and contacts you can trust about the market situation. Lastly, think about what you all do and what your client or employer would lose if they stopped working with you.
What do you bring to the table? What is your value? Prepare 1-2 sentences. Expertise. Credibility. Time-management. Leadership skills. Vision execution. Reliability. Your price should reflect your skills and values.
TIP: Always ask for more than you would actually be happy about. This way, you can negotiate better. If you want 300 EUR. Ask for 450 EUR instead and see what's possible. You may need to go down. That is okay. But if you ask for 300 and your client/boss push it down to 250 EUR, you get something but won't be so happy about it.
When is the right time?
Recently, I had a client who did not have a pay raise for the past four years. This deputy director thought it was bad timing because of COVID-19, organizational changes in the structure, etc. But hand to the heart, it was a long time!
Many people think they have to wait. There is a performance review for that, no? Not quite.
You can ask for more money any time you feel it would be right for you. Typical situations when you should ask for sure are:
Successful delivery/project finished: Success can always justify a pay bump. :-)
The extra mile: You did favors from your initiative and helped with XYZ.
Company/client is doing well: You will have more negotiation power if there is more in the pot.
More responsibility: Whenever you have more tasks than others, more strategic work, or even crazy overtime, you should be compensated for it.
How to pitch your case
Practice.
Practice.
Practice.
You don't ask for a salary raise or a bigger incentive for your services every day. You must practice. Begin with a friend. Allow him to act out several scenarios (e.g., hesitant, angry, passive, okay with it, etc.).
The more practice you have, the easier it will get. It is also wise to gather relevant materials about what has been done well, what success you brought to the table, and how you helped your client to achieve XYZ. Having these in hand will help you pitch your case.
Plan your conversation well. Take a few steps to make it go smoothly:
Prepare what you want to say. It can happen you will have a dry mouth, sweaty palms, and an upside-down stomach. Keep yourself calm.
Go to the meeting without too much expectation.
Book a meeting with a transparent agenda. You give time to people to also prepare for the chat. Nothing mysterious like ‘10 min catch-up’.
Talk directly to the point. State what you want. Use simple statements.
Make sure to listen to what your client or boss says. Be present even if the initial reaction is hard ‘no’.
The meeting can end with ‘yes’, ‘no’, ‘don’t know’. That is fine. It is the start of conversation. It is always better to be transparent about what you want than secretly suffer.
Remember, if you don’t ask, you don’t get it.
TL;DR
Understand what fears you have and what scenarios could happen if you ask.
Research the situation in the market.
Formulate your value.
Prepare well for the meeting.
Make sure you listen to what your boss or client says.
Asking for more raises is not awkward. It is challenging in your head. You will be surprised how well it is going to go.
I think you've summed up this problem perfectly, with helpful and practical solutions, too.
You could also use the contrast principle, too. The additional cost to the business of finding, hiring and training your replacement could be way more than your salary increase!