“Different is better than better.”
“Different doesn’t try to turn you into something else. Different allows you to highlight the singular traits you already have within you. You aren’t necessarily better than your competition. But you are already different.”
― Sally Hogshead, How the World Sees You: Discover Your Highest Value Through the Science of Fascination
Managing different personalities is a tough job. But as Sally said in her famous quote, “different is better than better”. When people feel they are better than others, you have a problem.
Now imagine working with copies of yourself. Wouldn’t it be boring? I think so, too.
What is above the differences?
At work, you can’t always choose with whom you work. It is like a class at school. It gathers different people under one roof.
There is a reason people come together. School, course, work, event, etc. Your team is not any different.
Instead of thinking about how one is an introvert or extrovert. Think about what you all have in common. What brings you together? Why are you there? What purpose do you come to work every day?
See similarities, not differences.
Imagine, you are the fellowship of the ring. Verbalize your purpose as a team. What load, burden, task, etc., do you carry? Without it, you will have a hard time leading different personalities.
Always think about that one purpose anyone understands, embraces, and is happy about.
Understand and Appreciate Differences
Cheesy, I know. But there is beauty in appreciating differences instead of being annoyed about them.
HOW to do it:
Talk to people. Learn about them. See what makes them talk. What are they open about?
Think about one thing that you appreciate about others. Even that one annoying colleague must have a quality you find cool.
Do a personality test and discuss your results with the team. This is really fun. Definitely better than trying to break the ice by building a marshmallow tower with spaghetti. Tip: Check these 3 tests
Last but not least, invest time to understand different cultures. The culture comparison tool should help you see why some people have trouble communicating.
Talk and listen to everyone
Nothing works better than generous communication. Different people need different communication styles. Put away your preferences. Ease your stiff belt, and find a way to talk to anyone.
It is not easy to cancel a lunch with your work bestie and go with someone you don’t quite like. But hey, you might be positively surprised.
Give a chance to everyone. Listen to their stories. Ask questions.
Be curious before you are judgmental. Relationships you manage to build will pay off with gold.
Flexibility and feedback
Two Fs you need. It is way too easy to be ‘done’ with people. Many times leaders are frustrated because others do not do things in the same fashion as leaders do.
Ah, yes. That is how it is.
Your expectations cut your ability to lead everyone efficiently. Get rid of your expectations, and you will see you avoid quite a few misunderstandings. Different is better than better.
Different leads to new ways of working, innovation, solutions, etc. Be confident others manage.
If there is one thing I want you to start doing today it is to ease your frustration and give and ask for feedback. Feedback will clear the air.
Say out loud what is bothering you. When you tiptoe around people, you will never have trustworthy relationships. Be confident in your communication. You will lead different personalities like a pro.
TL;DR
Embrace the idea that "Different is better than better," highlighting the value of individual uniqueness and diversity.
Focus on common goals and purposes within a team to unite diverse personalities.
Foster understanding and appreciation of differences through communication, cultural awareness, promoting flexibility, and feedback.
Have a lovely weekend! Ivona
Sunday Challenge: Your purpose and vision
Monday Case study: Leading people vs. leading yourself.
Thursday Newsletter: Loyalty and Leadership