What if You Don’t Have What It Takes
You might not like it and it is against the growth mindset.
“Hello, my friend,
Give up. You should not be a leader. You don’t have what it takes.”
That is a scary message. You probably don’t want to see it, ever. The growth mindset tells us that you can always get better and smarter. That intelligence is limitless.
But while you can learn math, programming, or biology, I wonder if you can effectively learn social skills. Can one learn to understand oneself and others?
What if you’re trying hard, but still don’t have successful interactions with your team? What if you don’t have what it takes to lead others?
Let me show you, it’s not a bad thing.
Anyone can be a leader (or not)
Leadership has become a synonym for success.
If you’re not a manager, you are not successful.
If you don’t climb the ladder, you are a loser and miss your game.
Are you 40 and not yet promoted? Gosh, start doing something!
You probably cannot stop comparing yourself to others. Yet, comparison is a dangerous game. It gives an idea, you might not be doing enough. Why are you not a leader? And if you are, why are you not a good leader?
Personal development courses, social media, and self-help books all massage you with the idea that “anyone can be a leader with the right mindset, tools, and effort.”
Aren’t you tired of it?
If you had a choice to become an expert in your field or a team manager, what would you choose?
There you go, leadership is not for everyone.
If you had a choice, you probably opt for something different. Still, the corporate world buckets people into leaders or not.
As a result, you might be forced into a leadership role and experience unnecessary stress, frustration, unhappiness, and burnout. Maybe that is why you subscribed to this publication.
Let’s not misuse the concept of the growth mindset to push ourselves toward a role that may not align with our strengths, values, and happiness.
You don’t have to be a leader to be happy, productive, and a great professional.
The reality check: leadership needs certain qualities.
Leadership is a combination of traits like strategic thinking, emotional intelligence, decisiveness, and the ability to inspire others.
Sweet. These qualities are often naturally present in strong leadership. While some of them can be developed, it should be clear that leadership comes with challenges and responsibilities that not everyone is equipped to handle.
Why not be the right hand? A skilled tech person? An expert in your field?
Leadership stretches your patience with people. It makes you challenge your comfort with uncertainty, and your capacity to take on risks for the sake of others and what you believe in.
What if you don’t have what it takes?
Ah, that’s perfectly okay. Some people thrive in environments where they can focus on their expertise without the weight of strategic decisions or regular one-to-ones.
Let your hair down, buddy. You’re doing well, even without leading a team.
Growth mindset
The growth mindset—popularized by psychologist Carol Dweck—has been a concept leaders embraced to work with others.
It’s the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through hard work, good strategies, and input from others.
While this mindset is incredibly beneficial for continuous learning, problem-solving, and overcoming challenges, it is often misapplied in situations where it shouldn’t be.
“The hallmark of successful people is that they are always stretching themselves to learn new things. - Carol Dweck
There’s a growing misconception that with a growth mindset, anyone can become a leader.
“Try harder.” “If you don’t try a leadership position, you are not successful.”
This thinking can lead to unnecessary pressure, especially for those who aren’t naturally inclined toward leadership roles. Just because someone can improve their skills doesn’t mean they should strive to fit a mold that doesn’t align with their core values or aspirations.
Instead of pushing harder to be a leader, why not try something that makes you happy?
Remember the Ikigai podcast I did with my friend
?
If you don’t have what it takes, what do you have?
You have something.
Leadership is one way to contribute to your company, society, or growth. There are many paths to professional fulfillment and happiness.
Behind-the-scene influencers, specialists, thought leaders, etc. are as valuable as leaders. I know, leadership roles come with money in the corporate world.
Yet, you can always job-hop and get a higher salary. You have options.
When you stop trying harder, you free your hands on something that makes you motivated and what you find rewarding.
You don’t want to work with people? Don’t.
You hate taking risks. Don’t.
You don’t like endless strategic meetings? Don’t do them.
I am not saying not to learn new skills or to try harder. You can, but everything needs limits. If you embrace your strengths and find your passion, choose leadership or something completely different.
Think of ‘don’t have what it takes’ as a blessing in disguise.
Free yourself to find a role where you can contribute your unique talents, excel in ways that matter to you, and ultimately live a more fulfilled and happier life.
TL;DR
Let’s stop pretending that everyone can be, and should be a leader. No. That is not true. Let people choose their path and don’t shame them.
Think of your manager as someone who might not choose to be one. Would it change the way how you feel about them? They might not be bad. They are just in the wrong position.
Sucks.
Leadership does not equal happiness. Dot.
And now let’s go back to the work, leaders! Ivona
On the menu:
Monday Deep Dive: Management Mistakes
Thursday Newsletter: What You Got Wrong About Leadership