What You Got Wrong About Leadership
Adulthood and other qualities we now call leadership.
Leadership has become a buzzword.
Sadly.
“Everyone can be a leader.”
I used to say that as well. I am ditching it now. Why? Because we’ve started misusing leadership for adulthood, common sense, and ownership.
Yes, we have personal leadership and self-leadership. Good for us. But let’s not mistake leadership for traits we all should have anyway.
Leadership as basic personal responsibility
If you see a job ad, you probably read about these qualities:
Reliable
Organized
Taking initiative
Hmmm. That sounds like leadership. Right?
Or are these praised as “leadership”, even when these are basic expectations of adulthood? What was once considered standard adult behavior is sometimes labeled as leadership to encourage these traits.
Yes, that is how far the whole leadership thing got it.
Everyone can be a leader if …:
They come to work on time.
They are diligent with their deadlines.
They deliver what they promise.
and similar.
You may wonder what we lost that we have to disguise basics as leadership. This is from my former office:
I joined a corporate company in 2015. The office was full of young people, Millenials. Our boss used to complain:
“Oh, we have to entertain you and praise you. Otherwise, you are never satisfied, people!”
The culture shift was apparent. The needs changed. Employees had different ideas about how the boss and the culture should work. There you go.
The process of making leadership basic started long ago. This shift is, however, actually useful and more inclusive. Everyone is encouraged to see themselves as leaders in their own right.
That is sweet, isn’t it?
Blurred lines between responsibility and leadership
Accountability, reliability, and problem-solving are traits of a good leader. And responsible adults!
When adults show these qualities, they may be labeled as leaders, even if they simply fulfill their responsibilities.
Did we lower our expectations?
The line between being a responsible adult and being a leader is not clear.
Social media is full of quotes about who is or who isn’t a leader feeding the misconception and making adult behavior equal leadership.
I am getting lost myself.
Maybe we, indeed, elevate every grown individual to a leader.
Emphasis on Self-Leadership
Self-leadership is the practice of intentionally influencing your own thoughts, behaviors, and emotions.
The shift is from:
“This is happening to me.” to “This is happening for me.” From a victim to an owner.
Listen:
What if you understand your strengths, weaknesses, and motivation? What if you recognize how your behaviors align (or don’t) with your goals and values?
Self-leadership for me is discipline, self-control, awareness, thought management, and of course, personal accountability.
🫱If you make a mess, clean after yourself.
Lead yourself first, and then you will be able to lead others. When you focus inward to improve self-awareness, decision-making, and personal effectiveness, you reach a place in which you are comfortable with your life and work.
Self-leadership is finding your Ikigai, balance, and comfort.
Be in charge of your own life. Get independent from expectations and pressure. There are way too many areas you can’t influence anyway. So, why bother?
Two questions:
Are you a leader if you own your life? Yes.
Do you have to brag about it? Probably no.
So far, I have been using some fancy sentences about how you should take the initiative. Ah, I’m, too, supporting the hype culture.
The hype around personal initiative
“If you don’t ask, you don’t get it.” “You have to take initiative.” “Be proactive.”
Again, whatever you should be doing anyway like taking initiative, staying organized, or handling your own workload often gets labeled as “leadership”.
Should you celebrate your coworkers who are like that? Or even should you promote them?
A big reason for this hype is the push for self-management. Employers want people who can take ownership of their work without needing constant supervision.
This has led to the rise of "self-leadership" and the idea that if you can handle your responsibilities on your own, you're a leader. But really, isn’t that just being responsible?
Team leaders get confused when they see leadership everywhere. “Empowerment” and “ownership” are constantly thrown around. So, people feel like every small action they take such as scheduling one-to-ones or meeting a deadline somehow qualifies as leadership.
Don’t be foolish!
Corporate managers often frame responsibility, efficiency, and personal initiatives as leadership because they boost morale and people feel more valuable.
Yes, we are bees that like that corporate honey.
Let’s rip the initiative bandage off and label it as personal responsibility.
After all, leadership is about strategic thinking, empathy, vision, and doing it through guiding, inspiring, and influencing others.
Congratulations, you’re a leader.
When you open LinkedIn, you may see leadership has turned into a feel-good title for behaviors that should be a given. It’s like:
“You managed this client? You are a leader!”
“You remembered your own deadline?" What a leadership!
We started awarding ourselves the “leader” badge for personal actions that don’t actually lead anyone else. People make responsibility seem like something extraordinary.
A self-disciplined adult, someone who shows up and does the work without needing applause, should be celebrated. But does that make them a leader?
Do we really need shoulder tapping and fancy titles to work?
You may guess people need to feel they do something “big”. Something that can talk about, and feel they have a purpose.
But taking responsibility, managing yourself, and keeping things in order is part of life, not leadership.
If you do these, congratulations, you have a life.
TL;DR
Do you remember the famous book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People? It’s a wonderful timeless piece to put your (work) life in order. You will quickly realize how uncool is to stick a leadership badge everywhere.
After reading it, you’ll see why Stephen Covey called it 7 Habits of Effective People and not “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Leaders”.
I say no more.
Have a good work day, Ivona
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