Why Bashing Your Boss Behind Closed Doors Is a Trust Killer
Talking trash at work does not pay off.
Do you tend to complain about your boss? No? And coworkers?
“They did this, can you believe it?”
“He’s so condescending! Pretending he understand it, hahaha.”
“They think they are the universe.”
My coworkers used to trash-talk about others during their cigarette breaks. Corridor whispering was fun during coffee breaks. Either way, people talk. Online or in person.
They need to wind off.
However, how you do it, matters. Especially, if you are in a leadership position, you can spread the poison and infect others.
Are you a snake? Then, you probably speak parseltongue.
Don’t damage your reputation
How do you feel about people who trash-talk behind your back? They are annoying! Well then, don’t be one of them.
There is something utterly wrong about talking bad about your boss. When you do so, it is a sign of disrespect. Even if your boss is horrible, by gossiping about them, you’re making it even worse.
People are irritated by different things. You get that.
Still, the picture you paint matters. Imagine someone has just joined the company and you’re trashing about the job. What picture will they have (if you care, of course!)?
Also, you talking means people might be talking about you, too. The talker. The complainer. The one who gossips about others.
What sticker do you want? Ideally, none.
Every sticker can damage your reputation, your credibility, and your authority. Keep yourself compound even when you are angry.
Loyal, confidential, and trustworthy are what you should be aiming for. People don’t trust people who talk too much. They wonder if you’re speaking poorly about them behind their backs as well.
Yikes.
Poison Ivy aka negativity spreading
Did you know emotions are contagious?
Constantly complaining about your boss creates a toxic environment. People are suddenly not okay. They are naturally drawn to negativity (negativity bias).
Our brain is wired to pay more attention to negative experiences than positive ones. It is a basic survival instinct. You want to avoid danger, risks, bad news, etc.
Complaining can create a false sense of connection. Misery loves company. People sharing shi* and frustration about their boss can feel like a bonding experience.
Are you angry? I am angry.
When gossip and dissatisfaction take over, it prevents everyone from staying focused, objective, and goal-driven. Your boss does not care? Why should you?!
So, it happens more people are unproductive and disengaged.
Backfires with your boss
The door is never completely closed.
Even if your criticisms are private, they can still reach your boss. Tam tam tam. Once trust is broken, it’s tough to repair.
What if your boss finds out you’ve been talking negatively behind their back? Uf. You may lose their confidence. Needless to say, it could impact your growth opportunities within the company, and maybe even in the industry.
Bosses talk, too.
Trash-talking compromises your team's professionalism. Is it really worth losing trust and potentially creating a toxic work environment?
Erodes team cohesion
Gossiping about leadership divides teams. When you make your boss the common enemy, you’re making a line: us vs. them.
And that is not what you need these days. You want collaboration and alignment because we are all facing huge tech challenges.
Poor communication and unnecessary ventilation are for nothing. It only leads to demotivation and damaged team cohesion.
I’ve seen many middle managers who pointed their fingers towards the leadership.
“They did this, idiots.”
“They decided. Are they stupid?”
“They do not manage. They never had good skills for that.”
Hmmm. Does it sound like a team player?
Touch your heart and reflect on what you say and about whom you say it.
TL;DR
Talking trash about your boss might feel like harmless venting, but it poisons trust, fuels negativity, and can backfire on your reputation.
A career is about making allies and working with different people. Do so, and you will grow.
Have a good one, Ivona
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