Why Frustration Kills Your Leadership Skills
Don't lead with negative feelings.
When was the last time you felt frustrated?
Maybe even today?
Frustrated people struggle. They are grumpy. They make poor decisions. Their relationships suffer.
A frustrated leader = a bad leader.
Today, you’ll find four whys you must watch out for when you're frustrated. It is contagious. Put on your masks, and let’s go!
1. Poor decisions that you cannot undo
Frustrated leaders tend to make impulsive or emotionally charged decisions. You have to decide, so let’s have it off the table.
Yet, decisions can have long-lasting detrimental effects on teams and relationships. Imagine these situations:
Hastily letting a valuable employee go
Hiring someone quickly without a background check
Implementing a poorly considered strategy
Buying a new system
Alienating key stakeholders through reactive communication
Your choices can create lasting damage.
It is as bad as it sounds. Once trust is broken or critical resources are lost, recovery will be twice as hard.
Unlike casual mistakes, decisions made in frustration often lack foresight, and their consequences can derail your team. You miss opportunities. You affect your business and culture.
If you have to make an important decision while feeling frustrated, take your time and consult it with someone first. You will save yourself some trouble.
2. Spreading negativity
If we say leaders shape culture and morale, we also know what frustrated leaders do.
Emotions are highly contagious.
When leaders express frustration openly (your words, tone, body language), employees mirror the emotional state of their leaders.
Frustrated leader = frustrated employees
Stressed leader = stressed employees
You don’t want frustration to turn into collective stress and anxiety. Such a dynamic makes it difficult for team members to remain positive and engaged. It’s just too much weight.
Can you manage your frustration? Can you hold your horses? Frustration affects both your well-being and your team.
Acknowledge and express your emotions thoughtfully. Focus on solutions rather than dwelling on problems. You will help yourself and don’t bother your team too much.
3. Your communication sucks
Have you tried to talk to a frustrated person? They don’t listen. They are stubborn. They don’t see clearly what they need to do.
It’s a burden!
Frustration is like a fog. You lost your ability to see anything and communicate clearly. Frustrated people speak hastily, use harsh tones, and are dismissive.
“You don’t get it.”
“You have no say in it.”
“Whatever you say I have already considered.”
“This is not helpful.”
During communication, you need feedback and a decoding process. When frustrated, you don’t have this ability. The communication is one-sided, no other perspectives are considered, and no empathy is in place.
Frustration leads to another frustration.
As frustration builds, leaders often shut down communication entirely or dominate discussions. All these “end of discussion” moments.
Yet, again, communication with frustrated leaders leads to confusion, feelings of not being heard, or reluctance to share ideas or feedback.
Your choice.
4. Non-existing objectivity
Frustrated leaders tend to make it about them:
“They should change.”
“He should work on it, not me.”
“It’s their fault.”
See? Your perception and judgment are gone. Strong emotions like frustration overshadow rational thinking. No surprise you make biased decisions and have tunnel vision.
Frustration makes challenges and setbacks personal. They happen to you. Be careful. You don’t want to fixate on problems and ignore big-picture or alternative solutions.
It’s often not your fight. The Earth is not rotating around you. Please.
Confirmation bias is another classic problem corporate leaders often experience. Leaders seek out information that reinforces their negative feelings and bohoos.
Without objectivity, communication suffers.
TL;DR
There are two things, I want you to leave with:
Frustration leads to impulsive decisions with lasting negative impacts.
Frustration spreads quickly.
Okay. No more frustration for today. Have a good one, Ivona
On the menu:
Thursday Newsletter: Why Staying Cool When You Exit Makes All the Difference