You Cannot Be Trusted Without Giving Trust
Trust is no struggle if you get your head around it.
Trust is hanging in the air.
Let’s celebrate.
Now grab it.
Because without giving trust, you cannot be trusted yourself.
What is trust?
The Oxford dictionary says it is “a firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something.”
When you don’t trust someone, you’re questioning their reliability, truthfulness, or abilities.
We say a manager does not trust his team. It means, for instance, this manager has doubts about the team’s abilities (hello, Mr. Micromanager!).
Trust is the confidence one has in another person's character or in something's ability to deliver what's expected.
Expectations. Abilities. Honesty. Reliability. They sound like words from a job ad, but they uncover the important topic of why you trust someone and don’t trust someone else.
Why is trust a struggle?
I often hear things like:
“I don’t trust my manager.”
“I don’t trust other managers.”
“I don’t trust that they know what they are doing.”
People come with emotional baggage. They are never a blank page.
Some struggle to trust others because they don’t believe they mean it well with them (your manager?).
They don’t trust others because they have different opinions (other managers?).
Some don’t trust the direction the company or the team is going because they see something others don’t (they don’t know what they are doing?).
The big issues in teams are that people don’t trust each other for various reasons. They don’t know each other well. They blame others for mistakes. They don’t speak about what matters, e.g., collaboration.
It is a vicious circle. You don’t trust. They don’t trust. You can settle for complaining. But that does not solve the trust issue.
Why should you give others your trust?
I’ve worked with a group of managers who had the same goals, but they didn’t trust each other. As a result, they never moved from A to B.
Trust is the foundation of relationships, collaboration, and growth.
So, if you don’t give your trust, they might not give you theirs.
“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” — Ernest Hemingway
I cannot stress this more. You HAVE to trust.
You have to trust that others manage, follow the same intentions, and have your back. Otherwise, you will go nuts.
A decision is made? Okay. Trust that it is meant well, and they considered the risks and benefits.
They promoted her and not you? Trust she will be better than you are now.
Did they miss a deadline? Trust that it was not meant on purpose, and they will fix it asap.
Trust makes your life easier because instead of focusing on differences, you will see a shared purpose.
Trust allows effective feedback, reduces insecurity, and encourages responsibility. Yes, people work much better when they feel trusted. It can bring out the best in people by showing belief in their ability and character.
Without trust, people avoid honest conversations and prioritize protecting their egos over improving. It is way too common at management levels.
Oh well, you can choose not to struggle with that and instead give trust over opinions.
Show people you trust them
A few ideas on how to show your team you trust them:
Delegate meaningful work (give them responsibility, allow them to make their decisions, support them in the process)
Ask for their input (e.g., involve them in decision-making; remember buy-in)
Respect confidentiality (When someone confides in you, keep it private.)
Support their ideas and growth (show you believe in their potential)
What’s even trickier is to trust other managers at your level and your bosses. Some middle managers struggle because they don’t collaborate, they protect their teams, and simply don’t agree with their bosses.
Here is food for thought:
Support decisions publicly (present a united front in front of your team; avoid undermining their authority during informal chats in the cafeteria)
Communicate proactively (middle managers don’t ask enough questions or update bosses). Keep your manager informed — not just with problems, but also progress and insights.
Avoid complaining and gossiping (yeah, just don’t mock your boss, please)
Take initiative aligned with the vision (show you understand the direction, and go for it)
Nobody is perfect. It is liberating to blame others, but ourselves. Don’t fall into this trap.
Here and there, mistakes will be made, and for sure, you will feel disappointed. Well, that is life. But hey, another day, another chance for your people.
Btw, they give you a chance, too.
Trust
What are you waiting for? Grab the trust balloon and give it to others. Your day will be much more fulfilled if you manage that.
Have a good one, Ivona