Do You Really Listen?
If you do not listen to people, you ignore them.
Listening is tiring. Yet, it helps you better understand what the other person or people are trying to say and why.
That is why listening is one of the top leadership skills. Poor leaders hear their teams. But don’t listen to them. They decide alone as they know best. It sucks.
Don’t be one of them. Try to listen.
Decide to listen
It sounds basic, but you have to listen to others.
Many tend to zoom out during discussions and focus on what they say rather than what the other party is saying.
The moment you decide to listen, you also ask questions and truly understand what is being said and why.
Successful leaders feed on information. They see a broad context thanks to their sponge-like listening skills. You know what others want. Having that information gives you a clearer picture of what direction to take.
No more doubting, guessing, and autocracy.
Listen to how we lose our listening by Julian Treasure.
Don’t waste time on meetings
Have you noticed people doodle, look around, and don't use cameras during meetings? Do they listen or not?
Limit the number of attendees. Identify key players. If you invite everyone, they won’t talk. Some steal conversations and push their ideas, while others remain silent.
Sometimes you might have long meetings to present data, processes, or changes. That’s OK. But it should not be a rule. Less is more, always.
The more people in a meeting, the less chance you/they will listen.
Focus is the best plan
You can beat around the bush for days, and nothing gets done.
What if you focused on specific topics instead? It is so much easier to discuss one or two things and listen to what people have to say about them. This is then when you have 20+ points on your agenda.
That’s also what incompetent bosses do. They plan too much. You overlook and ignore critical aspects. Plan for less, but allow enough time to focus.
Can you focus for more than 8 seconds? How more focus leads to a better life | Mark Tigchelaar
It is not necessary to discuss everything. Instead, make priorities and tackle them one by one. Your 20+ points on your to-do list won’t disappear, but you will have them in order.
“Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.”
― Aldous Huxley
Listen to people when they are in doubt. They might have a point. Sometimes you might need more compelling arguments to convince them. That’s helpful training for you.
Sit and listen
I had meetings with managers who looked nervously at their watches to leave for lunch. We all are hungry sometimes. I had leaders who yawned when I talked. Bosses who praised themselves instead of my performance.
You can do better than that.
Giving attention is tiring. Try to focus on everyone you meet today. You will be deadly tired. I guarantee you that. You can’t do many meetings a day as you will be exhausted.
People notice when you don’t listen. Be careful about that. People want to be listened to. If you do not listen, you break their trust, and they might ignore you in the future.
Listen like a leader.
Challenge your listening
When you listen, you learn something new. Open your mind to other opinions and concerns. You will discover a lot about yourself and others.
Listening is showing respect. If you listen, you are more likely to be listened to.
The open QA session
leadink monthly meeting is June 28th 5,30-6,30 PM (CET).
This time, it’s an open QA session, bring your questions.
Ask anything about leadership, communication, or mindset.