Just a Little Patience to Listen
Relationships stand on listening.
Little patience
Need a little patience, yeah
Just a little patience, yeahSome more patience
I've been walkin' the streets at night
Just tryin' to get it right (a little patience)
Do I have any other fans of Gun N’Roses here? Patience was released in 1988.
We all could use a little patience in our (professional) relationships. We all need just a little patience.
But where to take it from?
Stress, a fast-paced environment, and endless to-do lists buried your patience down.
You may wonder how you could be patient when your company culture is built on ‘efficiency’, fast decisions, flexibility, and similar values. Values that go against patience.
My boss used to say: “Stillness is for losers.”
Yet, without a bit of stillness, you may not be able to have a little patience. Can you move both steadily and patiently?
If you are busy, stressed, or overwhelmed, it is complicated to be patient. As you probably switch to a survival mode, and your brain response is one of these:
Where is patience? It is not hidden under a freezing reaction. It is not there.
When you check your email box with fires, see to-dos that you can’t accomplish any time soon, or have a conversation with a pushy boss, your brain switches you into survival mode.
“Uf. Just survive til Friday.“
“Just go through this peak period.”
“Just take this one more project.”
In some jobs, it is never better. There is always this one project that drives you nuts, and this one colleague who comes with questions at the worst time possible.
You don’t have time for any of that! Easily, you’re tired, bothered, annoyed, and even burned out.
Patience is a virtue.
A poet Prudentius wrote a poem about virtues. It is about 7 personified virtues of Faith, Chastity, Patience, Humility, Sobriety, Good works, and Concordia fighting the other 7 vices (for instance, Greed, Lust, or Wrath).
Patience is the ability to wait, or continue doing something despite difficulty, or suffer without complaining or becoming annoyed.
Patience is control.
Patience shows how strong your character is because:
Patient people are in control of their emotions. They remain calm and composed in difficult situations. They are better at decisions and problem-solving.
Patient people build better relationships. They show respect even when they don’t have time. They are not rude but understanding and use empathy to cement personal connections.
Patient people are resilient and see things more positively.
Patient people train their self-discipline.
Yet, if you are used to having everything ‘now’, you find patience annoying. You don’t always click with people from the beginning. You don’t get six figures when you start your own company in the first month. You don’t get a promotion straight away.
Relationships are no binge-watching.
Relationships stand on listening.
Sometimes when teachers speak, they notice students don’t listen. So, they stop talking. Why? Because silence brings back their attention.
People zoom out. They think about their dinner, boss, girlfriend, Bridgeton, Instagram, chores, etc.
Imagine going to a one-to-one meeting with your colleague while your head is full of angry emails from the client. Do you have the patience to listen to you would rather jump on the task to fix it?
That happens all the time.
Have patience with your leaders, they are probably overloaded. But thanks to that they fail to build relationships. They don’t listen.
Is there anything you can do today?
You bet there is. Have a little patience and listen to someone for a few minutes.
I could write about how to practice mindfulness and active listening and develop empathy. But if you made it here, you showed patience to read.
Good luck, folks!
On the menu:
Thursday Newsletter: Sharpen your decision-making
Upcoming training: July Feedback Boot Camp
2 sessions on feedback practice. Because you already know that feedback is a conversation. Now, get it done.
Dates: 16th & 23rd July
Duration: 85 Minutes/each session
Details: Dive into the key principles, SBI & Pendleton models, and master handling emotional reactions easily, ensuring your feedback is heard and embraced.